Love could never have been without experience

      

Love could never have been  without experience

Sam Mwaka-karama

Futility it always was, like in the old saying; running after the wind. To entertain an iota of a ghostly thought, that there could ever be love - outside of experience.

Love is a situational and paradoxical phenomena - it might have not actually been there in the Garden of Eden: for a mate was just created out of one ‘self’… so that if the self I am, should not feel myself in you - woman, then the feeling of love is void - and that is the paradox! Because I am the Adam who waited - alone in the garden - and that is the situation: The paradox and situation of love!

In my deep sleep I have always waited for you. That you might be availed-off me - and to me, I waited sleeping. I waited for the phenomenon of your creation and availability…

Your imaginary spritely arrival that dewy and misty morning - was accompanied by the cautions: ‘Thou shalt not...’ An inhibition. A warning. A fright. A scare. An admonition - the reprieve was to also set-up mortality. But alas! How? The journey hadn’t yet started.

The birds chirped and tweeted and sung gaily… in the mid-morning sun when the mist was gone and warmth bid life to the flowers, where the bees buzzed and warmed the fruits - just when the mood was set for a feeling and grace for each-other…

When suddenly had the feeling of melancholy come upon us - and the drift... we momentarily parted!

Faust’s ‘Old Heavenly Aunty’ - serpent! - had arrived, that the reprieve was thus set - to trigger indulgences with and eating the outlaw forbidden fruit… Aunty serpent the old wine bag had preempted paradise…

Love, the situational and paradoxical phenomenon, had been thus stayed even averted - for what should have bloomed in the paradise of the Eden and gradually and naturally spread throughout the world was instead forced-out: by the burning flame of the Angelic Sword that sent us cowering  in shame and terror - out of the paradise. That we might never look back to Eden again! For innocent we were no-more and, cursed we would always be.

There was sun heat. Wind. Gale. Cold and the refuge in Caves. There was the scorching desert and there was the treacherous forests and jungles - that between us as humans love had become an ‘experience’... Suddenly, we knew that we loved one-another. That a child was born to us. It was by the experiences of life that made us family.

For without experience - futility it always was, like in the old saying; running after the wind, is to entertain an iota of a ghostly thought, that there ever could be love - outside of experience.

Because falling in love was experience - knowing love was experience as well: lucky were always they who find love while busy working in the vast fields of humanity: Sports, Industry, Services, Education, Career or urban and rural life… for they found love without looking for love.

For those didn’t fall in love with love; like they weren’t inspired into love by some other pair in love. For they busily got closer and closer - and then suddenly experienced Eve’s misty early morning dewy arrival. The Eden love that was stayed by Faust’s Old heavenly Aunty Serpent.

Aunty Serpentine; the sisterly old wine bag who might have seduced Satan and triggered the rebellion that blew the sedate  calm and quiet of the ‘dark surfaces’. That slithery might suddenly have descended upon Earth at the dawn of humanity and wrecked havoc in paradise forever!!!

So that; You only love once. And once was the only way to love! And too bad, for best it always was falling in love by experiences. And that the clutters of challenges left behind for you and against your love affair by old Auntie Serpent - always break your heart!!!*

Writer is an Independent Thinker, Author and Blogger         

The Fatherhood Ransom

The Fatherhood ransom: the Diasporas prodigal sons and the ‘tithe’…

Sam Mwaka-karama

God actually gave away fatherhood to mankind: ‘multiply and fill the earth…’launching human procreation; so that when you call God “Father” while you shun your biological ‘father’ then you are ignorant and even a little bit backward! Unwise and irrelevant.

You are absolutely free and, your independence is guaranteed as long as you respect and absolutely show total loyalty to your biological father. God is represented in your life by your father – and it is only through him that you get that blessing to play your role in procreation… no matter how much you pray through Jesus Christ or even directly to God - as long as you hate or disrespect or shun your biological father; you are still the “Prodigal son… in the diasporas” who will [one day] come back home barehanded and need help and sympathy of the father; and get do what you should have done [in the first place much earlier] to buy your own passage into procreation by affording the blessing of your father; by working that ‘tithe’ peacefully at home. Or sending back home that ‘tithe’ 10% of your income regularly. So when things finally grind to a halt… that signifies your home-coming.

Like it or not; you are bound to your biological father by the simple linkage for procreation, the one thing that Jesus will not dispense – the one thing for which mankind labors is that in the process of development, procreation disseminates itself and the son is always tied-up to his father by that ‘tithe’ till productivity.

Churchmen say that to gain blessings from the God of creation from whom all things is said to process… you have to tie a ‘tithe’ in your offering to God – through the Church regularly – then your path in life is made smoother.

But then in the story of ‘Yakobo’ and ‘Rebecca’ and their two sons; we learn that – there still exist a cache of the ‘Fatherhood ransom’ a son owes his biological father; we learn that without paying this ransom to your biological father in your [youth] and or working life, you may at some point realize that you didn’t have your-own kids because you did not labor for your father, nor did you regularly tie a ‘tithe’ [the mandatory 10%] for your biological father – even though you regularly tied a ‘tithe’ in church, prayed regularly, loved a spouse and gave-out alms to the less fortunate; still [a void of emptiness might still vacuum itself deep inside you] occasioned by that wanting “Fatherhood Ransom” – a serious and formidable challenge to your manhood. A confusing entanglement to your mind and personal psychology – and an opening for doubt and sneer by the proudia big-headed lucky class, who are always there to prod and bruise your wounded feeling and self doubt, till you become an all round phobic… and perhaps make a dash right into the ‘chasing of the wind’ evangelical and gospel churches to be ‘born again’. Not only that; the story of “Laban” and the Guy who labored for his Uncle for seven plus seven years for the hand of his daughter; these are biblical tales that perhaps mildly indicate to us that ‘procreation’ is not a free ride… [you don’t just find somebody’s daughter on a silver plate and produce your own kids because you respected your own good father and, at the same time you insult the father of that girl mothering for you kids]… you either labor for it or you buy it from her biological father by giving respect and support to the aging man who fathered and placed her on that silver plate for you to luckily access… otherwise there is misery ahead waiting for you, or you might die early, or you might bury all those kids, or their mother might die.  

But many [including I] have discovered the [hard] way that the ‘Fatherhood ransom’ is the key to procreation and [therefore] longer enjoyment of functioning and working marriage or spoucing life. Certain traditional characteristics often vices parenting especially here in Africa – blown by the winds spewed by the demons of the larger turmoil over-loaded spiritualities and principalities that are permanently in anarchy and, whose superior wars constantly affect life here on earth.

Procreation is direct from the Creator to Adam and Eve – shouting ‘praise the lord’ or ‘God is great’ won’t help you there; for you to produce a child of your own, you must respect and stay loyal to your biological father by regular support… fine, for argument’s sake; a son could leave home go away at a tender age, finds a woman even bear children – here he might have found also a [proxy of his father] from whom he found the passage to procreation and, as long as he treats that substitute with respect without shunning his biological father, the boy finds passage into procreation as long as he engages into strenuous physical workout – like the Guy in the Laban story - in the modern day you might have to become a sportsman, hard-laborer, or throw your life away into the army [and work honestly] to gain your life and win into procreation.

In our disorganized African mentality it is this factor that disarray Africans; we are the less organized world. We are the more difficult to organize. We Africans have all the properties and materials of and for chaotic manipulatable existence… a child growing-up in this ‘helter-skelter’ develops more than enough ingredients that feed parental hate and disregard – where a son might [someday] work, say far away from home and, never look back; ignorant of all these [saving] factors, he floats and get carried away by the winds: He ties no ‘tithe’ to his father [he might of cause tie his ‘tithe’ in church and give alms – therefore even make money] which he loses fast as it comes - and as the gap widen the son becomes prodigal – shuns home and disregards his father – but then the dimaconian  ‘Fatherhood ransom’ is poised over the back of his neck; for either you respect and support [biological] fatherhood by the ‘tithe’ 10%, that you also become a father and further the process of procreation - or you play the prodigal son to the hilt and lose your head. The dimaconian wreath will eventually come-down. This is not addressed to any particular person. $$$$

Writer is an Independent Thinker, Blogger and Book Author

    

Sexual Slavery, Sexual and Gender violence...

Sexual slavery, sexual and gender violence…

Sam Mwaka-karama

As I write - this week the World sympathize with modern victims while we all remind ourselves of past and historical even celebrated publicized victims of sexual slavery, sexual and gender violence… and all those women (Young and old) who have been derailed in life by obsessive, imposing and often even organized rape and other aspects of extremism in masculinity - these also should include media and advertisement orchestrated mind-sets that are detrimental to or spur violence in-family.

Talking about sexual and gender violence, without incorporating ‘sexual slavery’ is like diagnosing and treating symptoms - while you don’t want to recognize presence of its root-causes. And you don’t want to recognize these root-causes because it is tied-up to ancient abduction and slavery of Africans whose descendants are now the African-Americans; you are ashamed of that because the American former slave masters… are now the major donor country and, as a dire-needy African, you wouldn’t want to get into their black-books, you don’t want to be seen or heard to root sexual slavery and violence with them. You are therefore playing safe – by not wanting to blame the donors!

But then it is all true; sexual and gender violence as known to modern day civilized world started with sexual slavery: on board ‘the great white ships’ of the trans Atlantic slave trade; the good looking slave women were isolated and raped. Similarly, on board the ‘Trade Wind Arab Dhows’ of the Indian Ocean slave trade; the nude body of the young African woman was irresistible, she was isolated and raped.
African traditional ‘sexual and gender violence’ started first as ‘co-wife wrangles’ that attracted and molded male dominance in the African household; first as reprisal the man who had co-wives that fought each-other, also as a repercussion beat one or both of them. Household sexual and gender violence spread-out to eventually gain in house notoriety. And as Africans began brewing crude-base drinks, the men even became more violent both sexually and physically. These violent trends developed becoming even more and more vicious by the generations.

There are also certain clan-tribe characteristics in Africa that have natural tendency towards violence when involved in sexual relationships - these truly and really exist even to these days, women who would rather be forcefully accessed by the man… they would rather be semi-raped to even enjoy the act… however the modern African woman has come a long way towards submissiveness (older generation African women were actually not as submissive as modern studies might indicate - the man didn’t find access easily and all the time - to them sex was for reproductive purposes - and not for consumerism), however the more modern society woman with education and exposure, awareness and being media savvy, being movie and TV buffs, and avid readers of good books; these category of women have developed romantic comely and more friendly tendencies. Many such African women have even become extroverts; she might propose directly to the man she is attracted to.

By percentage, those women who are stimulated by an element of forcefulness from the man are becoming less and less… while the liberal and more affirmative society women are growing more and more. In other words, a certain type of African woman is disappearing, while the emerging new society woman types (educated or not) are increasing.

Sexual Slavery - might not exist per-say in Africa - but there are certain obscure ‘convenience’ marriages that might eventually evolve and amount to sexual slavery… especially when the girl’s origin was endowed in dire poverty. When the girl was perhaps an orphan. When the girl had separated and often disagreeable parents. When the girl didn’t have proper education and lacked job-security. When the girl lived and grew-up in insecurity away from both parents or with even a more insecure mother. When the girl married a white-man, she automatically was a sexual slave - subjected to certain type of sexuality that wasn’t entirely African, while it might be considered normal by European or American standards, her hold in such marriages can only have connotations of ‘convenience’ which carry with it the slavery-to-wealth and comfort thing.

It is here that serious ‘African Cultural and Sociology’ thinking is needed. To gather-together the thinking around how the young African woman who somehow finds herself abroad and married to a white man - might be salvaged.

The slavery MUST be stopped: Respect of the girl’s culture and roots. Recognition of her parents (cripples, lepers or deranged lunatics they may be, but they parented that young woman). That is where African Union AU legislature has to be formulated, to link with relevant overseas laws, and place control over white men taking advantage of young vulnerable African women - where a parent might be able to contract a local lawyer and even by such small remote action, be able to place caveat over such marriages and bring to bear even claims for legal redress or reparations where necessary.

If high society African-American black people who are PhDs, are agitating for ‘reparations’ over 1500/1600 Trans-Atlantic slave trade - then why mustn’t an African parent whose daughter suffers and dies of ‘HIV/Aids’ or ‘dog rabies’ in Europe - not be able to seek reparations - since the girl might have died in sexual slavery, which is a modern kind of slavery? - “Sexual slavery and sexual and gender violence” - are one and the same. In marriage or outside marriage… as long as there exist ‘educational and wealth’ inequality the relationship becomes that of ‘convenience’ - a fertile ground for sexual violence and sexual slavery.

Between the western world and Africa, there is need for certain new ‘legal frameworks’ and ‘legal practice’ collaborative ‘access-ways’ under Globalization’s new Laws or Conventions to help address this increasingly occurring situation. To help address the many-many Africa’s gender parity questions, there has got to be legal framework of modern International laws that guarantee respect of the African woman wherever they might be. And such laws must be linkable (to and fro) between African Law Firms and Western Legal and Security Systems - whenever need arises to culprit sexual slave masters, even years after their African spouses living abroad might have died under hushed-up circumstances. $$$